Let’s Get Some Things Straight

To be clear, I'm not judging you for drinking before noon, just what you're calling it.

To be clear, I’m not judging you for drinking before noon, just what you’re calling it.

Today is Sunday, and all over the world people are waking up and going to a scared event: brunch. But I’ve been finding that a lot of people are mistaken about aspects of this divine ritual, so let me help clear some things up.

7:30-9:30 = Breakfast

11:30-1:30 = Lunch

Any meal that you eat between 9:30 and 11:30 is a mixture of breakfast and lunch; brunch.

If you eat bacon and eggs at 11:45, you are having breakfast foods for lunch, you’re not having brunch. If you have a hamburger at 9:15, you’re having a lunch food for breakfast, you’re not having brunch. If you have a mimosa at 8:45, good on ya, but let’s be clear that you’re drinking for breakfast, not for brunch. If you sluggishly get out of bed around 11:15 and text your friends to meet you for brunch at 12:30, you’re wrong; you’re actually meeting for lunch.

It should be noted that voting line laws apply here. If you are seated and have ordered brunch at 11:24, you’re still having brunch. However, order your eggs at 9:23, and you’re still eating at 10:30, wrap it up folks, there are other people waiting on tables.

I hope this has cleared up some timing and semantics for everyone. Now if you’ll excuse me, I only have an hour and a half left to get my brunch on. (Folk Art in Inman Park, y’all. For Real.)

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